Posts Tagged ‘christmas’
Santa Reindeer
Saturday, August 6th, 2011
Santa Claus is bad for your health
When talking about Santa Claus, we always associate it with pleasure because it distributes beautiful gifts to us. And also, Santa Claus means Christmas that we can relax ourselves. However, the Christmas edition of the British Medical journal, Nathan Grills and Brendan Halyday from Australia examined the effect of Santa Claus on public health. Their conclusion was that he is more or less trying to single handedly kill off the children of the world.
We know that obesity is bad. Santa is the centerfold for FAT IS GOOD. He is, at the least, rotund and this physique is supported by all the parents who help their children put cookies out for Santa. From this we teach our children that high calorie food is good for overweight people. Moms, next year please put out a carrot stick for Santa and discuss with your children why Santa will die prematurely if he doesn’t change his gluttonous habits.
While images of Santa smoking his pipe are less common these days, they still can be readily found all around us. As Santa Claus is at least a hundred years old this teaches children that smoking leads to a long life!
The high color of Santa’s cheeks suggests that he is an alcoholic. This is confirmed by the fact that traditionally many parents leave alcohol for him to drink. Certainly by the time he has completed his trip around the world he could be considered to be driving his reindeer under the influence. I cannot wait to see the uproar when a policeman makes Santa take a breathalyser and drags him off to prison as he was slurring the names of his reindeer as he drove them on.
Then Santa is clearly a reckless driver. Mom where is the crash helmet and the seat belt?
Finally, what are we teaching our children about safe sex when they see mommy kissing Santa under the misseltoe. And, as I live in Town and Country I need to point out, at least for my wife’s sake as she protested the culling of the deer there, that to make those poor reindeer pull that big fat man and all those presents around the world in the most inclement weather is cruel to those poor reindeer. Im surprised that the Animal Liberation Movement haven’t broken into the North Pole to liberate these poor reindeer.
We need a new politically correct Santa. He should be skinny, eat only fruit and fish, not smoke, drink less than 3 drinks on Christmas eve, help the reindeer pull the slay and let poor, little rudolf with his red nose sit in the sleigh, be shown on Youtube working out all year on the treadmill for his arduous work, and not say HO HO HO too often, as i’m sure that is bad for this vocal cords. May you all have a MERRY DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS.
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Santa Claus Reindeer Ride – Lapland Finland – Father Christmas
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Holographic Lighted Reindeer and Santa Decoration $29.99 You can hang it on your house, attach it to a fence or railing. You can also place it on your roof or put in on your lawn…. |
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17 Lighted Reindeer Christmas Window Silhouette Decoration $9.99 17″ Lighted Reindeer Christmas Decoration Item #V490531 Features: Illuminated by 50 red, green, gold, and clear mini lights One-sided No assembly required. Decoration is 1-piece UL listed for indoor or outdoor use 120 volts, 60Hz, .17 amps, 20.4 watts Wire gauge: 22 24″ white lead cord that has 1 plug with end connector allowing you to stack multiple sets of lighted decorations together (not to ex… |
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Wood Cut Santa Claus With Reindeer Statue Figurine Gift $5.10 Crafted in tree bark and polyresin, here’s a delightful rendition of Santa out for a sleigh ride through the woods. 11 1/2″ x 3″ x 5 3/4″ high…. |
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The Year Without a Santa Claus / Nestor, The Long-Eared Christmas Donkey / Rudolph’s Shiny New Year $2.82 At the North Pole, the Christmas rush is on. Everyone from elves to reindeer are merrily preparing for Santa Claus’s yearly sleigh ride. Everyone except Santa! Feeling forgotten by the children of the world, old St. Nick decides to skip his gift-giving journey and take a vacation. Eager to help, Mrs. Claus and two spunky little elves set out to see to where all the season’s cheer has disappeared. … |
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Dr. Demento Presents: Greatest Christmas Novelty CD $5.18 The title might be immodest, but it’s accurate. Just about every holiday song parody and comedy sketch you can imagine is jimmied onto this hilarious, sprawling collection. While you’ll find a smattering of well-known Christmas wackiness (including “Grandma Got Run over by a Reindeer” and the Singing Dogs’ “Jingle Bells”), the Doctor’s specialty is unearthing the obscure, such as Wild Man Fischer’… |
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Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer $0.25 It’s not unreasonable for any child to believe that Burl Ives might really be Santa Claus. After all, Big Daddy Burl narrates the animated Christmas classic about Rudolph and he did have that belly that shook like a bowlful of jelly. After listening to this 19-song treasure trove of Christmas music from the animated show, adults might even believe Burl is St. Nick. All the hits are on this generou… |
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Santa’s Missing Reindeer $11.17 Santa’s Missing Reindeer |
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Plush Santa, Snowman & Reindeer Set $24.99 Plush Santa, Snowman & Reindeer Set |
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10′ Santa and His Reindeer Add-On $5.84 10′ Santa and His Reindeer Add-On |
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Santa’s Reindeer $3.48 Shh Have you ever heard a reindeer’s sleigh bells in the sky on Christmas Eve? Have you ever heard a reindeer’s hoofbeat on the roof of your house? Or listened to the clatter of antlers outside in the darkness? Of course you haven’t Santa’s reindeer are so skillful that they can fly in and out of your neighborhood without anyone hearing a thing. But how do they learn to fly in the first place? What are the reindeer really like? What do the reindeer do for the rest of the year when they’re not flying Santa around the world? Find out all about how Santa and his Sleigh Master train the Sleigh Team at the North Pole. Discover just what reindeer games the team likes to play and what they love to eat. Learn everything you ever wanted to know in this beautifully illustrated look at the North Pole’s most magical inhabitants. Then watch out on Christmas Eve. Once you know all about Santa’s reindeer, you just might be able to spot them stopping somewhere near "your" house |
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The Little Reindeer $9.25 A young reindeer falls out of Santa’s sleigh one Christmas Eve and lands on the snowy streets of a crowded city. Luckily, a boy discovers the reindeer, finds it a place to live, and cares for it. Over the course of the year, they become friends as they wa |
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Reindeer $18.92 Reindeer |
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Santa and Reindeer Burp Cloth Set $19.99 Cotton burp cloths in two styles feature Santa and reindeer appliques, polka dot border and mini pom-pom trim. Features and facts:White cotton burp cloths feature Santa with red polka dot hat and border with white pom-pom beard on one and a brown polka dot reindeer with red gingham antlers, nose and scarf against a green border with holiday trees on the otherSold as a set of two with one of each designMeasures 17″” x 13″” |
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Save the Reindeer! $6.01 The Wonder Pets, Linny, Ming-Ming, and Tuck, make a special trip to the North Pole to save one of Santa’s reindeer who is stuck on the ice. |
